Gathering Dust

It's been a while since I wrote anything, but this blog isn't the only thing gathering dust. Every now and then I come across another human being--these days it's normally through the internet, sad to say--and I'm made aware of how little deep thinking or feeling I do anymore. I fall into ruts of thinking over the same tired topics. I feel like my soul has been gathering dust for some time, and I'm too bored to do anything about it.

Before writing this I was cleaning my bathroom sink and counter. When that was finished, I noticed some grime on the bathroom wall, and from there my sponge went higher on the wall, where I encountered cobwebs. That got me to thinking about how I can let some things go so long, either not seeing how they're gathering dust, or not caring enough to do something about it. I don't like to clean, and I tend to avoid it, but when I start, I hate to stop and can't stop finding things that could be cleaner...it's exciting to watch the clean come out, and to know the job won't have to be done for a while, either, LOL. That's just how it's been with tending to my soul of late. I've been apathetic. I've let myself read about Britney's latest meltdown rather than delve into anything more penetrating. (Except for one highlight over the holiday break: I started reading Edith Wharton's House of Mirth and have thoroughly enjoyed its literary beauty if not the depressing plot.)

I came across a blog today through an internet friend and didn't want to stop reading it. The mother is my age and devoted her blog to the short life of her son. Her months and months of insights as she lived through his progressively worsening health, his death, and through grieving him really shed light on how shallow my own faith-life has become in recent months. But more than that, I was blessed by her story, her son's life, and how much I still have to learn about loving, losing, and leaning on God.